Jacob's House Blog

Becky’s story continued…   After giving my life to God, I desired to grow in my new life with Him, but after several months of hearing the negative things that the people at Church said, confused me.  They were always talking about how hard things were and how they barely got through, so I thought that being a Christian must only mean that you go to heaven when you die, so I quit going to Church and went back to my old lifestyle and started smoking marijuana in addition to drinking alcohol. 

I felt badly about turning away from God, but I didn’t know what else to do.  Once while driving down some back roads, smoking marijuana with friends, a police car came up quickly behind us with it’s lights flashing and its’ siren penetrating the airwaves.  I  was so afraid, so I silently prayed and asked God to protect me, because I didn’t want to get caught.  He didn’t tell me that He would keep me from getting caught, but I did sense Him telling me, “Becky, I love you and I have a better life for you.”  To my relief, the police car passed us at a high speed and continued on out of sight.  “Whew”, was I relieved!  And although it was a close encounter, my lifestyle didn’t change, but the words I heard from the Lord that day came back to remind me of God’s love often.

Since my Mom remarried, she didn’t have much time for me (in all fairness, though, with school, my job, and cheerleading, I probably didn’t spend much time with her either) and my Dad rarely came around.   I longed to be loved and accepted by my parents, but never felt as if I measured up to the standard of their expectations, not that they said anything much about it, but that’s the way it seemed in my mind, as a teenager.

By this time, my mom was expecting a baby and just a few weeks before the baby was born, a bad dream about my Mom dying during child birth, made me skeptical about this new baby and I didn’t want another change in the jumble of confusion in our already adjusting lives.  But one look at my little sister, and those thoughts completely dissolved.  I knew I always liked little children, but with her arrival, the love and call of God to love little children was birthed in my heart, even though I hadn’t fully came back to Him.  I didn’t know that I could love anyone as much as I did my little sister, she seemed to be the bond that God used to bring all of those jumbled, frayed ends of adjustments together and helped us come together as a family. 

The next spring, I ended up in the hospital with a fractured pelvis from a wrong move during cheerleading try-outs.  My ‘well-meaning” friends made the 30 mile drive to see me, but ended up getting “high” with another friend, who lived in the area, and couldn’t come to see me after all.  The elderly lady, who shared the room with me, the Nun/nurse, who taught me various ways to play Solitaire,  and my parents, all made comments about what a good and pleasant girl I was.  I felt like such a fake.  I thought if they really knew me, they wouldn’t think that, so because of their kind words, the innocent love of my little sister, and my friends actions, I made a decision to come back to God.  I didn’t know how, but I knew He would help me.

Several months later, someone I worked with at a local restaurant, invited me to go to a revival with him, even though he didn’t attend Church himself.  We went and that’s where I learned that having a personal relationship with God is so much more than just going to heaven when we die, that it is an awesome love-walk with the God, Who created the Universe!  From that time on, I grew in the love of God and committed my life to live for Him.  I still had my friends, but I didn’t participate in getting drunk or high with them anymore, so little by little , they went their own way…

You can contact me, becky@jacobshouse.org.

1. Penny says:

   February 24, 2010 at 4:30 pm

   One of the best things about serving a loving God is that there is NO SMELL OF SMOKE ON US…I wonder how many others think they cannot come to a loving God because of the things they have done? Thank you for continuing the wonderful story of a good life IN HIM and how to do it. I can’t wait for the next installment my precious friend.